GENDER ROLES- NATURE OR NURTURE?

By Kristen (Wordgazer) Rosser and Debra Baker

Kristen:

Those who encourage men and women to stay in traditional male and female roles like to talk about the biological differences between men and women as a justification for this.

There are some biological differences that are clear and indisputable, and are clearly linked to, well, biology. For example, women are designed to bear and suckle children. Men are not. Men in general are physically stronger than women in general. It seems reasonable to think that the reason for this is that men were designed to be able to protect their pregnant/nursing mates and infants during these vulnerable times in their lives.

How much of gender roles, however, are truly biologically based, and how much are mere socializations?

Debra:

While there are biological differences between genders, there is more variation within the two genders than there is between the two genders.

Yes, I admit it is challenging for me to do pull-ups or work on my upper body in the gym, but I do know some strong women that can do large number of pull-ups. Although many women would be unable to endure the rigors of combat, I know women who can and have. My daughter, for example, was stationed in Ramadi, Iraq for the better part of one year. She could carry the same amount of gear as the male Marines and had proven herself any number of times including besting many men in martial arts.

I believe there are natural physical differences and I would also agree that our brains may be, “wired” a bit differently. As I have noted, I think there are enough differences within genders that are more significant than the differences between the genders. Also, much of the behavior that distinguishes us as masculine and feminine are social constructs.

Remember the Barbie™ doll that said, “I hate math?” Well, I am old enough to remember being told that girls weren’t as good at math as boys. I was discouraged from courses like Physics and Calculus because of my gender.

Now that the environment in our schools has become friendlier toward female students (dare I suggest they have crossed the line to disadvantage the boys?) young women are beginning to populate the advanced sciences in our universities. This trend is reflected in my own family. Most of my daughters are extremely high achieving students in Physics, Calculus, and Medicine.

At the same time, men have discovered they can cook, clean, and take care of children quite well. Imagine that!

Why? Because these are social constructs and we have the power to adapt in order to make our culture more just. I believe as Christians, we need to be in the forefront of social justice.

Kristen:

I have read certain research indicating that men and women have different “wiring” between the lobes of their brains. One result seems to be that men find it easier to “compartmentalize” one area of life from another, while women tend more to view all aspects of their lives as a unified whole.

Men apparently tend to have greater innate skills in spatialization (such as knowing where North is), while women tend to find it easier to focus on and remember small details.

But I differ with the idea that it is brain function that causes men to lead and women to follow. Both men and women can be good leaders, and leadership-oriented personalities appear naturally in both sexes.

When women are allowed to lead, they tend to lead more through cooperation, while men tend to lead more by dominance. But domination is really not very effective as a leadership strategy, as current work studies have shown. Neither is a must-please-everyone pushover attitude. Men throughout history have been socialized to compete and try to dominate, while women have been socialized to cooperate and facilitate. But when men learn to effectively utilize cooperation and teamwork, and women learn to assert themselves when necessary, those they lead benefit in both cases.

Coming from a background of co-dependency, I would tend to state that real controlling behavior is not exclusive to men or women, and is a sign of dysfunction, not gender. My sweet, kind and very masculine boss has led through respect and cooperation at our office for as long as I’ve been there– 20 years. That’s why people tend to stay in his employment so long!

Now, when it comes to inborn vs. learned behavior in children: I have two kids, one a boy, one a girl. We provided toys of all kinds for both. Neither of them really liked to play a lot with either dolls or trucks. Both preferred stuffed animals, plastic animals, blocks, Legos™, clay, paint, fantasy/pretend games, dinosaurs, etc. Both liked action figures over Barbies™. Both enjoyed both girl and boy superhero-type action figures. I did not discourage my girl from playing with “boy” toys or my boy from playing with “girl” toys. I thought it important that they play with what they wanted to play with. Both kids played sometimes with dolls– my daughter played she was “mommy” while my son played he was “daddy.” Since “daddy” is going to be a very important role in his life, I thought it was very healthy for him to do that. My girl is also going to grow up and learn to drive a car. She played with cars sometimes, as did my son, and I thought it a very healthy thing for them both to do.

Now that they’re older– neither of my kids likes sports. Both love to read. They get this from their mom and dad, neither of whom are into sports, and both of whom love to read. Both kids love manga (Japanese comics), especially a particular title in which both males and females are Ninja warriors.

Debra:

In the beginning, I tried to raise my girls and boys equally (example, giving my daughters Tonka™ trucks and giving my boys dolls.) Um….the girls took their Barbies shopping in the trucks and the boys didn’t play with their dolls as much as the girls did. That being said, I am still glad that they were offered the opportunity to explore a wide range of play.

Kristen:

The difference between Debra’s experiences and mine in childrearing and gender differences shows three things, I think. One is what she said earlier in this piece: “There is more variation within the two genders than there is between the two genders.” There is certainly variation within gender between her kids and mine! I remember both my kids gleefully decapitating Barbie paper dolls that someone had given them– they disliked the whole glamor-girl thing mutually and intensely!

The second is that children do take cues from their parents. My children’s favorite activities probably have something to do with what activities my husband and I enjoy, and thus were more willing/eager to participate with them in.

The third is that I suspect that there may also be wiring differences that cause girls in general to be more relationship-oriented, while boys tend to be more mechanism-oriented. I do know that, contrary to what some readers might be thinking, my girl is very feminine and my boy is very masculine. There is no gender confusion within them at all. But they are both very strong into their individuality and not just doing whatever the crowd is doing. I think that this, again, at least partly comes from their not-popular-in-school-learned-not-to-care parents! But this is an attitude that will serve them well in standing for their faith and morality when the world is against them.

Debra:

I was interested in the book, “Why Men Rule,” sort of justifying the Patriarchy. The theory is “However, he believes the neuro-endocrinological evidence is clear: The high level of testosterone in males drives them toward dominance in the world, while the lack of high levels of this hormone in women creates a natural, biological push in the direction of less dominant and more nurturing roles in society.” This may explain why patriarchal systems became dominant in our world but it does not justify a patriarchal mentality. Might (especially if we’re discussing this within the context of Christian thought,) does not make right.

Has male dominance created peace and justice in this world?

Are the more extreme versions of male-dominated cultures places we would want to live in?

Is polarizing human beings into two extremes; dominant man, nurturing woman ideal?

Would it be more ideal to have men socialized to be nurturing (and I could cite examples of cultures in which men are nurturing), and women could be empowered to walk in leadership positions?

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people in authority were nurturing rather than rabidly set on domination?

 

 

Kristen:

To sum up, neither Debra nor I disagree that males are different from females. But differences in gender don’t usually translate very well into rigid, legalistic gender roles. To turn tendencies into roles is to force people into boxes, disregarding who they are and who God created them to be in favor of an arbitrary standard which is not borne out by the Biblical texts, which show women like Deborah or Priscilla functioning as God leads, not as society demands.

To force people into male/female role-boxes is, in short, fundamentally opposed to Christ’s law of love: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It is also forgetting that in Him we are one.